Every Workplace Is Shaped by Trauma (Whether We Name It or Not)
"Trauma is not what happens to you; it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you." - Gabor Maté
In a recent client meeting, I noticed a team member go quiet after their idea was dismissed. They pulled back from the conversation, their shoulders folding inward. It looked like the light had left their face. To others, it might have looked like disengagement. To me, it felt familiar: the kind of shutdown that happens when an old wound gets touched, in this case, perhaps a memory of being overlooked or silenced before.
That moment reminded me why I approach all of my work through a trauma-informed lens.
When I first learned about trauma-informed practices, I felt like I could finally put words to how I naturally worked. It wasn’t just validation, though that mattered. It was an invitation to deepen: to study, to collaborate with other practitioners, to ground my instincts in research.
But for many, this doesn’t immediately feel relevant… so what does trauma-informed mean?
When I say trauma informed, I mean that I go through life assuming that everyone around me has likely experienced trauma, and that given this assumption, I try to create conditions for safety (while also knowing I can never ensure someone’s perception of safety). This includes:
modeling vulnerability, creating an opportunity for them to do the same should they choose to
acknowledging that I can’t know what I haven’t personally experienced
inviting input on an ongoing basis, knowing they still may not feel safe enough to share it
actively incorporating the input I do receive into strategies, plans, and policies
Naming when I get something wrong
looking for ways that I could unintentionally re-trigger stress, and adjusting practices, policies, and procedures to account for that
To me, this is trauma-informed, yes, but at its core, it’s how we create workplaces that are actually designed for humans.
Why Do I Want Us to Work In This Way?
It’s really quite simple. I want a world where we care for one another, where we actively work to avoid harming others, and we feel supported when we feel harmed. This doesn’t happen unless we actively design for it.
Research shows that most of us have experienced at least one traumatic event in our lifetimes, and many have experienced numerous or ongoing traumas. Trauma, whether tied to identity, life events, systemic inequities, or access to resources, doesn’t disappear when we go to work. At best, it shapes how we cope and show up. At worst, it can result in a serious mental health event.
The reality is, when I talk to people these days, most share with me that they are struggling.
When stressors are ongoing, they create conditions for toxic stress, an experience akin to trauma. We are not built to withstand the amount of painful information and pressure coming at us daily. Most of us cannot simply push through. At some point, the impacts of trauma or toxic stress take over.
There’s a long history of workplaces expecting people to put their heads down and keep going, no matter how they’re actually doing. But that doesn’t create healthy humans, and it doesn’t create healthy workplaces either. Job stress alone costs U.S. employers more than $300 billion each year due to absenteeism, turnover, decreased productivity, and related costs.
So instead of pretending this isn’t the case, what if we developed shared language for talking about our experiences, norms for naming what we need, and practices that foster real connection with teammates and partners? If we spend most of our lives at work, wouldn’t we want those spaces to be places we can show up honestly, without performing?
If you ask yourself, how might what I’ve been through impact the way I’m showing up right now? It’s likely you’ve developed habits that help you channel pain in productive ways. It’s just as likely you’ve developed habits that don’t serve you.
Trauma-informed approaches aren’t only for schools or social services. Stress, pressure, and power dynamics affect people in every workplace. If we ignore that reality, we amplify harm.
I don’t come to this as a clinician. I come as someone who has spent 15 years inside workplaces as an employee, consultant, manager, and founder. What I’ve seen across hundreds of teams is this: the ones who thrive are the ones who create space for the whole human… in all of their experiences.
What Might Trauma (or Toxic Stress) Look Like at Work?
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How You Can Explore This
You may have read through that list and thought:
“I’m not a therapist, I’m not equipped to address this…”
“How are we ever going to get things done if we’re delving into everyone’s trauma?”
Or even, “I’m not paying people to work through their personal history.”
I am not suggesting that the workplace is the time or place to delve into someone’s traumatic experiences, nor am I suggesting that you are the person to do it.
What I am saying is that there are ways to operate in a supportive manner, to help people feel supported and decrease the chances of causing them harm, and that doing so will create a much healthier workplace where everyone is better positioned for success. You will breathe easier. Your team members will too. You will feel more supported. So will they.
But how?
A lot of people have amazing frameworks I reference, but two of my clients, Hala Khouri and A Thousand Joys, worked together years ago to build a Four R’s framework I’ve found to be particularly helpful for almost any situation you may encounter, whether it’s your own experience or witnessing a team member having a challenging experience.
Reflect: Notice what’s happening within you.
Regulate: Identify what you need to steady your nervous system.
Relate: Connect authentically with others.
Repair: Acknowledge and address harm.
Reading over this, does it seem like something you could put into practice? Let me know if you do.
If we can normalize humanity at work, taking pauses, naming emotions, working to connect, we would all be a whole lot healthier.